A tribute to a love that … is!

What in the end is love? In my mind the definition is very simple: Wanting the person you love to become and remain happy! A lot of intense thinking and deeply philosophical view will confirm this in the mind of anyone who is willing to and is capable of think openly.




It does sound very obvious in hindsight. Why - when you are in love - do what you do? At the bottom of every deed of a person in love towards the person he loves is a deep and profound desire for happiness of the loved one. What matters is not what is being done, what pains are you going through, what efforts you are taking, or anything that helps make the deed. What matters is how that deed makes the loved one happy.

With you or with someone else!

There's a desire in us to make the loved one happy. If that happiness comes because of someone else and with someone else, it does not matter. I know deep in my mind that this is truth. Sure we have seen people who upon risking separation from the loved one, wish ill for them or sometime even try to end both lives. But they are exceptions; only to prove the rule.

I sometimes look back and think about a love that was. And when I do I realize it was not the love that 'was'. It is a love that 'is'. True love never ends, never empties. It's always the same. Never does it change. The intensity may vary over years. But when you think about someone you loved, the time you spent together, what she did for you, what you did for her, the beautiful moments you spent together, and almost anything from the period, the intensity is the same.

It is purposeless to even ask the question of if the love was so intense, why did the loved one go the other way? Things happen. Reasons change. Motivations transform. Backgrounds matter. In the end the effect cannot disguise itself though. The effect remains and we must stay with it.

And love stays too.

Never does it go away. It takes forms. It changes perspectives. It changes your outlook towards the world. But in the end, think, what do we want to change? The world! The grand scheme of inexplicable and enigmatic persons and events. We wish some things never would have happened. We yearn some things never would have changed. But changed have they.

What is not changed? The very reason behind these wishes. The love!

It's beyond any rationale thinking or reasoning. It's beyond logic. It cannot be justified. But it does exist. And it keeps existing.

And when we think back about it, we find ourselves fortunate and grateful to have lived that love for whatever time we did. So much so that sometimes we find it unbelievable to have lived them.

That hand is no longer in the hand, those eyes don't emit the same emotions. So what? There are enormously beautiful memories of them. Those moments are so incredibly powerful and beautiful they keep inspiring us and cheering us up, and sometimes even make us forget that time has passed.

That is why this is a tribute to 'a love that is'.

Cool colorful sealife at New England Aquarium.







Shot with Canon EOS 10D, Sigma 17-35; with circular polarizer. No flash.

A beautiful lakeside structure in Bear Brook State Park in Nashua, NH on a cold winter day!


Shot with Canon EOS 10D, Sigma 17-35mm; temperature adjusted in Picasa.

Golden Rules

Here's a very interesting article from Business 2.0.

It's titled "My Golden Rule" and compiles "49 business visionaries, collectively worth over $70 billion, what single philosophy they swear by more than any other -- in business, life, or both".

Just take a look at some of 'em.

When People Screw Up, Give Them a Second Chance - Richard Branson, founder and chairman, Virgin Group

Get Out From Behind Your Desk - Jim Goodnight, CEO, SAS

Remember Who You Are, Not What - Brad Anderson, vice chairman and CEO, Best Buy

And the coolest: Conventional Wisdom Is Always Wrong - Paul Jacobs, CEO, Qualcomm

Here's the article link.
My Golden Rule

Enjoy!!!

Parable of the boiling frog

Here's an interesting story that has been told several thousands of times and is still intriguing. It's based on a scientific experiment and is therefore repeatable. (I have never thought of carrying out the experiment myself though since the learning from the story is truly valuable and whether or not the experiment works exactly as in theory does not come in the way of learning!) Anyway.


First. A frog is put into a pot of water. The water happens to be boiling. The frog jumps out of the water immediately. If the water level is low, the frog still jumps as vehemently as he possibly could and gets out of the pot.

Second. The same frog is put into a pot of water. This time the water is pleasant. The frog is lying happily and enjoying his time. The water in the pot is slowly heated. At points, the frog does get upset but doesn't do much. The temperature keeps rising. There comes a time when the water is boiling, and it's too late for the frog to jump out since he can almost not do anything in water as hot as that. The frog is boiled. Alive.

Now, what really does that tell us? It has one of the most profound lesson related to change. That change is not noticed when it occurs over a relatively long timeframe, although the same change is taken notice of if the timeframe is shorter, is one of the most familiar mockery of life. And this story describes it in the most effective manner. We are all frogs, waiting to be boiled in water of some kind of the other - be it health, relationships, technical competency, or plain simple habits.

Think about one significant change in your life. Something that has changed your life profoundly. Now, try to recall a point when that change started, how long did it last, and when it was concluded. Most people would answer that the change did not start intentionally - or even if it did, they cannot point out the first moment "after the change". Most significant changes happen over a long or relatively long period of time. And finally, there are seldom examples of being able to point out a specific moment in lift when the change was concluded. To summarize this, the change is constant.

Now, what's new here? We have been hearing/reading/and even writing this "change is constant" thing all of our life! The point here is not to prove that the change is constant, it is rather to prove that the change is not noticed constantly. Let's see some examples.

+ Try to think of someone around you - or yourself if applicable - who from being a normal, healthy person gradually transformed into being overweight. When did this start? When was it noticed? Did all that transformation happen in a day or a week or even a month? Why was it not noticed all that while?

+ Try to think of a neighborhood that changed its identity - for better or worse. When did it start? You could recall now perhaps. But did you notice it at that time?

+ Try to think of an organization doing well and later going bankrupt. When did the descent start? How long did it take to sink?

And there are several more. The point is not when a particular change starts. The point is when the change is gradual it is often ignored or goes unnoticed. The change then accelerates and gets traction. Soon many more things around start changing. The rate at which things change is exponential, i.e. all the changes taken place so far provides further support and push to the new changes. Very soon complete transformation is noticed. Yes, noticed. That is when it is noticed. It is too sad that everything is beyond repair at this point.

The key to avoid it is to keep a constant watch on everything that is changing. Driving habits, eating habits, sleeping patterns, relationships and friendships, coding habits. Everything. One useful thing that could be done is listening to an external observer, like a close friend. The friend knows you, and can see the change externally and therefore notices it. It may seem paradoxical to read at first since just in the previous paragraph, I said change is hard to notice when they are gradual. However, when seen externally, change is noticed earlier than internally.

Whether a person does something after the change is brought into the notice is a separate topic. Some other time...

Every exit...

However necessary a change is, it will always be painful. Let it be as simple as changing over from one brand of laptop to another or as big as leaving your best team to explore even greater successes. Every exit is an entry somewhere else. It indeed is. However, with every exit there are some bonds broken, some promises unfulfilled, some dreams unrealized. It does not mean by any way that leaving a job separates me from my team. Yet, howmuchever I try and remain in touch with them, it will never be as close as actually working with them - day in and day out.

Another very intriguing thought is how paradoxical it is to leave as a good manager. All the team members have only good words for you. In farewell meetings, last team meetings etc., you keep thinking about this. It's certainly a good feeling to hear the good words about oneself. It makes you glad to hear how much people love you. However, you have to live with the very reason because of which all these words are being said. Howmuchever your team loves you and howmuchever you love them, you gotta move in different directions.

Hoping only to become better and better in future...

One very interesting thing I heard from a teammate is "some people never realize what difference they are making to others". Let me be honest and confess that not too many people will realize it when they are doing it - for a simple reason that when the difference is being made, there is a greater purpose than just making the difference that is driving the man's actions. The greater purpose can be as varied as trying to help a person become a great engineer or trying to build an outstanding friendship. When the man is guided with this greater purpose, all his actions are automatically geared towards achieving that purpose. The difference is then automatically made. And it is also not very unnatural for the person to whom the difference is being made to realize it only after a long time. "Parable of boiling frog" is so well known and popular anyway!